The prospect of a child turning eighteen and getting married off to the most beneficial family for the parents has been a tradition for a time longer than any of us could remember. Of course, it doesn’t happen as often in countries other than Pakistan or India.
It’s like the parents rarely care for what the child needs, they just think, oh my daughter will live in a mansion, I’ll have a son-in-law who’s filthy rich, and the daughter? She only faces neglect, how wrong is that? And this isn’t only with daughters, it also happens a lot with the sons. Suppose your son never got over his high school girl and you just marry him off to a rich family, and why? Just for the social status you will get by doing this.
Marriage In Villages
Then there is the point of marriage in the villages of Pakistan. You see, it is mostly with girls over there. They don’t even turn eighteen their fathers marry them off to a forty year old man who is just a sexually frustrated guy. The Desi culture of our country is so messed up that you’d rather marry your son to a rich girl who your son doesn’t even know, just for the dowry instead of the middle class girl he loves. Now, here a few pros and cons of early marriages.
Getting married early can be an advantage, for both genders, Of course, everybody has desires and if they don’t fulfill them in a better manner, people tend to go to bad ways and end up sinning. When you marry, you do everything you want but in a more well-mannered and also religiously, better way without having regrets afterwards.
But there are also problems, when you marry, you have kids even but the household surrounded with your mother-in-law and everyone else there can be so toxic and cause extreme mental fatigue. Your parents in Pakistan rarely marry you off at an early age because it is what you want, it is mostly of what they want and they use their children to get it. Getting married at an early age with someone you don’t know a thing about is more dangerous than one might think. What if your spouse is a serial killer, sterile or just a sadist?
In this community, you can’t even raise a voice, especially if you are a girl because if they do that, their parents would just hate them at how they destroyed their status in the society. Parents would rather that their children go through abuse and torture than ruin the family image. More often than not, the kid is studying, parents get a proposal and say yes. The other side promises how you would be able to continue your studies but after marriage, you just can’t and that is the end of your dreams right there.
People’s Personal Experience
I, myself have friends who were studying and got marriage proposals. One of them told me how it’s her cousin and it was her dying aunt’s last wish, she’ll continue her studies too. She felt guilty and said yes, but not more than a year a divorce took place. Her studies were just left like that and now she has no idea what she’ll do next.
Another friend got a proposal from a girl of his village. His parents are not literate so they tried to force him to marry her. Not sure how but somehow he convinced them not to do it, as he was studying and making a career for himself.
You see, these are just a few examples of how early marriages are rarely a good idea, as from the perspective of Pakistani parents.
I believe early age marriages should happen but only when both, the bride and the groom want it and they are old enough to make their decision. We should not encourage this as this only destroys people’s lives.